Marriage

I feel tired with the matter of 'wedding'. Almost everyday the word's 'wedding' come to my ears.

With my cousins asked me, when??? She said if you have bf, why not just get married.
Is it that easy? I dont think so. I'm understand that marriage for Islam is ' menghalalkan yang haram' but for me marriage is more than that.

Frankly speaking, I also wanna get married but the responsibility as a wife and in future as a mum quite huge. I can imagine it with pack schedule as a wife, mother and employee. Quite tough right? I respect to those wanna get married means they are ready to hold up those responsibilities. 'Tabik spring' for you! :)

I promise to myself, if I able to manage myself especially in preparing breakfast at 5 am, lunch and dinner for my parents, it means that I'm ready to get married. Why? It is because I need to take care of my husband and mentua. Home cooking able to close more relationships. However to wake up at 5 am quite tough for me as I sleep late but during Ramadhan, wake up at 4 am very easy eventhough I sleep late. So how?

But I dont like this one person. The way she judge people is immature. eg, Who is she to say that this people is 'golongan orang musyrik' if scared to hold responsibility, 'kahwin lambat boleh ke arah zina' and etc. If you have a long relationship, zina  may not happen if not regularly seeing each other. Thus, my friend said that if a girl dont agree to do that 'thing', a boy not do it. However, I can forgive her as she is only 20 years old but she feel that she is mature enough as get married with early 20's. All her words actually really irritate me. I feel wanna block her in FB and no more post about dosa. 

I know that couple is dosa but what I can do right now is just minimise it as low as possible. Eg, no more holding hands. What to do as me and najib have plan to get married another 4 years (minimum) actually.  I just can wait and pray to be with him until the last breath. So sweet.. hehehe

Nothing much to write

Last night was so exhausted . I've re- do my CV coz my pendrive been affected by virus!
Damn! I need to get my passport picture to put in the CV .
Luckily I've found it in my Linkedln! haha
What so relieved!
I need to thank to my darling coz he has helped me a lot even though he's not well.

Today I feel a little bit dizzy. maybe coz not have much sleep last night.
I've cook paratha with sardin sambal. smell so good but I'm not yet have appetite to eat it.

Today's plan are attend my friend's wed yaya and fetch my mom and brothers at LCCT.
Going to LCCT give me experience in driving as I've never drive a car in this far.
A lot of thanks brother coz allow me to drive your car. hahaha

Quote for remember :
' Berserahlah pada Allah kerna sesungguhnya hanya-DIA yang menentukan qada' dan qadar kita dan kita hanya mampu berusaha dan berikhtiar demi untuk mendapatkan rezeki itu'

letter for me

Dear Siti Rahmah,

You've done with your very best effort during the exam. Those papers quite toughed but you able to puzzle it down eventough the answer you're given not strong enough. I know it is sad as you had studied really hard during the hard time. Just remember honey, with all those effort, sometimes without our expectation, the markers will feels it and gives pity marks. Just be positive. .

today is friday
1 more last paper to go
i wish my sickness gone
but recently i read this article about 'kenikmatan di sebalik kesakitan'

it open my eyes that every challenge given hiding a worth that cant be see
but later we can feel it and realise it
there are reasons why we need to face the challenges
for me, every challenge i experienced remind me every single sin that i've done
from there, i'm improving myself to be as good as possible to every people i loved

just for reminder to me
who know with a week i'm sick and exam fever
later on feb i've pass all papers with flying colours
i really need a luck right now ~

to motivate myself

today is wednesday and tomorrow is my 2nd exam paper
i've work hard since the 1st day of new sem
but now..
i dunno what to do
i'm sick and my father also not well
i hope all my hard work not wasted
please ya- ALLAH..
i really wanna pass all papers
many ques i've done and i've understand almost all basic knowledge

please rahmah.. please remember..
time management, stress management and specific application
with doa and ur hard work
everything will go through smoothly
what pass is pass
u've done well

the truth is ACCA is a gift to my parents
i can do it
caiyok!!!!!!!!!!!

Exam & Sis

okay.. now i'm back in normal track
I've re planned my schedule for study revision up till 11 Dec
OMG!! I've another 30 days before my fight war with ACCA
It's really stressful and my mind quite messy
I hope my schedule is sufficient for my preparation to war.. HAHA

I've been so quiet past few months, less fb-ing, chatting or even blogging
I don't wanna regret in future if I don't struggle right now
I really wanna pass all papers and grad next year

okay, for awhile I need to rest my head thinking about the exams
yesterday for a 1st time, I chat with my bf's sis
I've did approached her with proper wording and manner
so to cover my worries, I've enjoyed watching SUJU's MV

By looking at the way she chat with me, it seem that she also control the wording used
quite awkward at 1st for me because I don't have sis ( but now I've 2 sis in law)
usually my sis in law approached me 1st, at that time I'm so young
but now I need to grow up
approach the others as well as najib's sis like an adult do

I need a luck right now to tackle najib's sis
It's been 5 years me with him and another 4 years we will be tied-up legally
so, in serious relationship marry him also means marry with his family
quite tough as he has 2 sis and
to tackle his mother I need to get close with his 2 sis
my mom also said so
this part worrying me.. my weakness is to tackle them but my strength is cooking part

how really to get close with sis actually??

Never give up

Yesterday was a bad day to me . I failed 2 papers in last sitting exam but I've pass the repeat paper . Alhamdulillah ~

I feel I wanna give up . . All my effort wasted . . But my mom , friends and especially my bf encourage me not to give up like learn to fly again with broken wings . .

I cried at night . . To recover the sadness , my bf dedicate a song of never give up to me . I heard it and it's relief . . Thanks to him . .

Lyric from Yolanda Adams - Never give up

Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it's simple your idea, it won't make sense to everybody
You need courage now If you're gonna persevere

To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called
So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

Keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you
Don't give up

Every victory comes in time, work today to change tomorrow
It gets easier, who's to say that you can't fly
Every step you take you get, closer to your destination
You can feel it now, don't you know you're almost there?

Who holds the pieces to complete the puzzle?
The answer that can solve a mystery
The key that can unlock your understanding
It's all inside of you, you have everything you need

Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you're gotta keep the faith, bring what's deep inside your heart yeah your
Heart to the light
And never give up Don't ever give up on you

Wish List . .

If somebody ask me what are my wishes , I've might say :-

1. I want a laptop either Sony Vaio (white) or Acer .
   
2. At least Rm1000 to shop handbags , blouses , shoes , shawls .
   
3. Someday I wish that I'll be able to buy Fossil's watch .
4. I want to travel as many places as I can such as Europe , Singapore , East Malaysia , Krabi Island , Australia , Japan , Korea , China , Vietnam , Dubai , Turkey , South Africa , Canada , Saudi , and many more . to make it simple - I wanna travel around the world !
5. Among cars , I prefer Honda Civic . The car I desired most since primary school . I think I'll buy it when my age turn to 40+ . . Huhu . .
6. The highest qualification that I wanna hold is professional banking - IBM . I don't know why I want to be involved in banking industry so much . Maybe one of reason is to follow my dad . Thus , I wish someday I'll be worked in Bank Negara .
7. I wish that I can buy a set of Estee Lauder's make- up and perfume . for my body and skin care , I prefer Body Shop's products even though I've never use them . haha . .
8. I wish that I can buy any novel's book in MPH no matter what the price will be . haha . .
   
9. I don't care if someday I'll have a lot of money but what I care is to live in average standard level of living . So I wish in the future I'll have happy family and my husband only have me .
10. The main wish among all , I wish that I'll be able to balance both dunia and akhirat . I hope I'll be truly muslimah someday . . Insya-Allah :)

These wishes likely , possibly or probably might to happen . If I've a lot of money , these will not be as a wish because I'll be able to buy them and to have them on the spot exclude wishes number 9 and 10 ; only timing and incentives may tolerate it . .

Menu . .

Today's breaking fast menu either lauk asam pedas or fish sambal. I'm still in dilemma to which dish I'll be cooking this evening seems I'm craving to eat both dishes.

my mom wanna eat asam pedas but my dad wanna eat fish sambal. Oh my . . I should think fast to make decision. Making decision is not as hard as doing the exam's questions. So, I should be able to decide fast. huhu . .

It's almost 20days of Ramadhan. Since I'm started my study leave, I've yet taste my mom's cooking. I really miss a lot of her cooks but how I wanna tell her? I know it is a duty of daughter to help her mother but sometime I desire to taste her cooks because on the weekdays I've stay in hostel. On the weekends, I've stay at home but at that time my mom was tired and need a rest for whole weekends. So, the kitchen was close on that days.

In order to taste good food, I need to cook by myself on what I've crave for. Sound like little pity girl but who am I to ask my mom cook on what I want. It's ashamed to grown up girl that will going to be 23 yrs old on this coming Saturday.

I think that I need to wait till raya eve. my mom will cook rendang, laksa johor . . I hope so. I really need to taste her cooking before going back to hostel on 4th September . . :(

Exam . . exam . .

Yes!! audit exam is over for mid term . . haha . . Even though I feel exhausted , tired and sleepy but still I manage to complete all questions . But I think the last question of 6 marks and the other question of 6 marks, the answers were not really good. Don't worry Rahmah, you still have 33 marks. Hope I can pass! hehe . .

Today I climbed from seroja's parking area to Menara SAAS. Little bit tired but I need to rush to the toilet. haha . . not really excited for today's exam. I reached the level 1o and waited for40 mins before enter into the exam hall.

Due to sleep mode that I try to hold up, I'm not mad to the level 14's management because they suddenly change the exam hall to level 14. So, due to time consuming all of us used staircase climbed another 4 levels. That's why now I really exhausted and tired. They should tell us early. Hmm . .

However, I can't stop myself for not worrying to this coming Monday nightmare! Am I passing all? What should I do? I think I wanna concentrate in baking cookies. I really hope my worrying will be lesser.

Ya Allah . . I have done everything that should be. Its only YOU can do anything to what YOU want to. Because of that . . "ku berserah pada-Mu ya Allah . ."

It's all about English

My eyes are burning . . Headache attacking me again . . I wanna sleep to recharge my energy back but I cant. Is it because now I'm facing the symptom of hydration or am I too worry about tomorrow's exam? If the audit's lecturer don't know me, I will not think twice whether to attempt the exam or not. haha . .

I always think that how lucky I am if I know to use all the bombastic words to describe my feelings, thoughts . . but in fact that my English level is align with secondary's level. I feel regret for not seriously studied English subject during the school's time. That's why I encourage my nieces to learn English lesson well during the school's time. I don't want they feel same as me. But one of lecturer had said to me -

" even though you use simple English but you still can pass your ACCA's papers and now you in the end of stage 3. So, don't worry about the use of bombastic words in your exams . ."

I feel relief but I'll always questioning myself whether am I able to survive in the work's life? Why am I lack of self- confidence? huhu . .

Learning English lesson is everything and it will never stop until the end of our life. I have experience during my last T5 (CAT) class ; the lecturer completely barking mad at me because at that time my English quite bad. She said - " please la . . please improve your English! How many time I had said, please use dictionary! . ."

After that, I fail T5. haha . . So, I started learn English seriously and my mom gave a book of how to improve your English by readers digest. It help me a lot and then I pass this paper on the next semester.

Until today, I still learning English to enhance it by reading biz- star, writing blog and now dictionary is my best buddy.

One of my neighbor ( my friend's mom) seen my mom and asked about me. My mom said that I have learn mandarin in Uitm. Then, she argued that why am I learn mandarin instead of English. I summarise their conversation that she had look down on me because she thought that all malay people have poor English.

I don't care of her thought. Because of her, I will never stop learning English and I will prove to her that she is wrong about me.

"Never judge people by their appearance . . We never know people's life in the future . ." - quote from my father that I'll remember forever.

Work's load

I woke up this morning and i felt very exhausted. Thus, I cant run away of thinking. Huhu . . Today is Wednesday and another 2 more days my audit exam coming through. Oh my, no feeling of scare or excited at all. What happen to me? Haha . . I will not tell my mom that these few days I didnt studied. She will mad at me and my laziness will be blamed if I am failing. Please no . . No more fail . .

I want to re- schedule my life back to normal track. I have several works to do :-

• send my friend's convo gift to her home
• complete my research literature
  
• baking cookies for raya
• send raya card to my friends
• clean up my room
• buy gifts for my mom's friends at Subang Parade
• guardian shopping

Can I complete these works until next week?? I think can but this week my focus only to study back audit that i left few days ago. Now my objective to do well in this coming exam. Starting on Saturday, I will completing all these works. Chaiyok Rahmah!!!!

What am I thinking right now...

its been 2 years i didn't update my blog. the reason is nobody will read my blog. haha.. I think so..
So..what a lazy day..I woke up at 10.50 am with stomach pain and also headache attacking me. I have exam this Friday but still I don't feel to do anything. just like Bruno Mars song. haha..

" today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay on my bed.."

Thinking back on last Wednesday..during the audit class, my lecturer asked me on the risk involved to the issue of going concern. I knew the answer but I'm too scared if my opinion unacceptable. So, I gave the answer without reason but suddenly I spoken in malay and the whole class laugh at me.
What ashamed!! I took ACCA exam but spoken in malay. By then, I choose to be silent and quickly ran out from class to stay away from others. huhu..

Starting from Wednesday nightmare, I keep on thinking finding ways to improve my soft skills. I can write but my grammar not so good. I can speaking but not very fluent and sound like 'orang jawa' trying to speak. haha..

So.. my only hope is from my bf. I can practice speaking with him and i must be prepared before my interview next year! Please Allah..I hope all my wishes comes true..