Dilemma~

Today is a day of history. Good news and bad news..

Good news
I've been selected by general manager to be in charge with company's branding project..
plus.. my head of department offer me to be transferred into family reporting team.
another good news is I've been told that my salary will be adjusted.

with these, my bad news is... this makes me hard to tender!!!!

It's true that in future maybe i wanna be a part with financial analyst.
i also wanna do reporting because i started feeling tired in getting bosses signature everyday.
i dont wanna be a treasurer because i hate in getting the bank confirmation for audit!

if i agree transfer to reporting team, i will be so mean if i resign after 2 months transferred.
is it when i do reporting, i need to stay another a year?
I'm so clueless right now.
if N was here, i will don't be like this. after office hour, i will directly drive to Seksyen 4 and have his point of view.

just miss you, N. a guy who always support me whatever i do.

"Life is like a stairs. to reach to the end, need a strength and passion to achieve. just a reminder to me that not easy to be on top."

Just figure out from a mess

yeah..i'm still single. even though i said i dont need him but in fact every night i cried because of him. i tried to cheer up myself back to normal. planning my future. what i realised since i come back from Seoul is that now i know what i wanna do in my life. Man? Married? My future that only Allah knows. so to keep me busying without thinking about a "MAN" and away from my family's question "bila lagi nak kawin...", i will keep on studying.

my last paper this coming exam..P5.. i will struggle to pass it.. then, i will contact back my mentor to continue doing OBU degree.. doing research is a something to forget about LOVE. once i finish my ACCA, i will searching for doing master in forensic account. along that, i will searching new job which i want to be specialised in investment. yeah...my JD is as treasurer and investment.

there was a reason on why Sime Darby rejecting me. Allah wants to show me that investment is a job that i wanted to do. Thank you Allah for opening my eyes and lead my way. It's ok my salary paid not as high as my friends. But, because him break up with me, working in HLMT, being a backpacker went to Seoul... really teach me to be matured.

"MARAH..?" no more. "STRESS..?" also no more. Why? I learned to be matured. "EXAM..?" just i cried once yesterday because i'm so jealous that i still stuck with P5.. haha.. never mind.. my rezeki not coming yet..

but here.. my photos in Seoul and Busan. Falling in love with Korea.

At Namsan Tower.. christmas tree with full of chain love. I dont have any love..so..just take picture of it.

with friends waiting for dinner. me the oldest! but look young.. wahahaha

wah!!! ready to get into bullet train to Busan! 268km/h.. really fast but dont feel it.. very comfortable than Airasia..

Busan city.. more traditional and warmer than in Seoul.. people are more friendly. they said we're pretty like a doll! LOL

Gamcheon village.. many stairs up and down.. how can "running man" can run there.. -_-"

near Seoul station..

at Gangnam... shopping branded heaven.. me? only window shopping..

sign board on the floor.. on the way to Hanok Culture Village..

me here at Gyeongbokgung palace! why me looks so small.. wohaa!

Nami Island!! Winter sonata place.. this is a place that i wanna throw away my love.. go away.. shoo..shoo..

just ride a bicycle alone.. no couple.

not winter la.. autumn in my heart.. "my memories...~ "

in hello kitty cafe.. full of pink makes me sick and wanna vomit.. hahaha

many pictures taken.. its hard to make a cut.. hahaha
my love..my soul.. already gone..
here i'm back with reality without believing in love.. and without believing that there will be a man who really in love with me..
my wish to get married on 25 just need to be forget.

Love is everything.. the happiest thing..the sad thing.. and the most hurting thing. Still single but people don't believe it. haha.. believe it or not..

I'm not a girl..not yet a woman..
I'm a girl in a big world..

Dangerous being 25 without a boyfriend.. i hate that number.. what to do.. life must go on..
Just stick to your plan Siti... Redha.. Sabar..

if i were a man

What i learned from yesterday reception, never go alone to the wedding. Feeling sad when u see almost all your friends with their partners.. or always talked about wedding, husband all the time.
What a lie face i showed to them that i have a happy life but in fact i don't. Why deep inside my heart i really wanna get married. I don't understand.. but before that, i must found my life partner.. but who??
With a romantic songs make me heart broken.. suddenly remembering my past stories that i hated most.
Why i need to face this alone.. the truth is.. i' m so jealous.. me 25 but still don' t have a boyfriend. I'm so tired with all of these..
If i were a man...

feeling bored

What a meaning of I.L.U?
I thought it could be i like you..but majority said it is i love you?
Really? Neway..whatever.. say no to LOVE until the day its come.

I have kept a saving for my 'wedding'.  However..as my relationship with him ended..so i use that money going to korea! What so relief!! Now i can enjoy my money and think of future later..

Yesterday was history.. tomorrow is mystery..

If a men want me..just plz accept my family. How bad they are..they still my family.

Whatever it is.. life must go on. He that really dont want me, now i can move on without him. Such a relief after seen his messages with my friend. Love is such a liar. I hate a guy with sweet words like him.

No more guy younger than me. I take back all my words before and he just not worthy to have my love back. Say no to KEDAH!!

HiM

its quite long i don't write here. many stories gone through of my life for the past 4 months. the stories tearing of my heart from day to day. everytime i fall i try to move on.

him.. i really miss him from day to day, cry every night. i'll try to move on by remembering all of his words. i remember the way he smile, the way he laugh, the way he care of me, the way he thought me about real world.. everything about him haunted me every night.

with him.. i can be myself.. i can talk what ever go through my heart and mind. he just follow my flow. when i cry, he with soft voice motivate me. he just so perfect to me and i really love him with all my heart and soul.

because of my parents, he made a way leaving me deadly. this is all because he does not have luxuries to show off to my family. thats why he cant see my parents. if he really love me too, whatever my family think about him, he will ignore it. he will find a way to grab my family's love. but.. he dont want take any chance.

why my life now turn upside down.. in the end, i really cant move on. :(

from the bottom of my heart

My heart feels so down.. the way people thought about me..making false stories but still they doesn't feel guilty at all..  its not me that have wrong thoughts but people surrounding me shows it..
Its ok but frankly speaking its not ok..
Hey..takaful..islamic supposely support each other..
But then..islamic just by their names n appearances..
They open my eyes that not everyone truly friend with you..
Its not a story that i created but story that i felt within 7months working with takaful people..
Which majority is malay.. what a mess of my working life..