Future

Me going on 26 which is still don't own any assets, not yet finish ACCA.. kinda loser! Damn..

So, while waiting my brother to come back home for good another a year (2015 maybe..) and take his car back, I set my own target to fulfill what I want.

• getting a new job with basic RM3k++
• saving start from bring my own home cook for lunch
• puasa sunat every monday and thursday
• no more korean depart
• only once a month - starbucks

To heal my pain, I use my saving for holiday.
Now I already okay -  no more pain no more cry at night, no more hope
I back in track to be what i wanna be
To learn what I wanna learn
Build up my skills and make my bosses regret for not appreciate me
All their words keep on running in my mind and I will never forget it

A year to heal
A year I scared and not to trust any other guy everytime my friends and family try to match me with someone

I really need a sea to treasure back all the memories deep inside it.
That's why I join backpackers to Perhentian.
My friend, Azie understand me what me doing what I wanna do during Perhentian's holiday.
and that's my last cry for love and hope.
At that time I promise myself. never open and accept any other guy until the right time comes.

I only open my heart if someone who never give up on me, shows that he really want me as his life partner and always put Allah and family as his priority. I know it is hard to find that guy. Sooner or later that guy will find me. I just follow the flow.


"Ku berdoa agar cintaku berputik lagi bak bunga ros merah kembang di taman. 
Andai kebahagiaan yang diimpikan tidak dimiliki sekarang, ku redha.
Jika ini hukumanku atas dosa-dosa ku yang lalu, ku redha ya Allah. 
Seperti janjiku pada-Mu dulu, cintaku biarlah pada-Mu dulu. 
Sayangku hanya pada jodohku dan berputik ketika akad.."

Perhentian Island

Next holiday as a backpacker with my colleagues - Perhentian Kecil Island!

I'm happy as a single lady with no commitment at all. I can do what I want.
My family said that I wasted a lot of money going for holiday. but for me, it is time to enjoy a single life before married. Now, I don't care what people say, what people thought of me. They can say whatever they want.

We planned this trip since December 2013. We went by bus and go back home by flight.
Cost for living is RM250 including foods and snorkeling activities. Quite cheap.
Cost for transport is RM100 (bus, van to airport and flight)

Pictures taken for a memory

Me has stop hoping of him to come back. What past is past.

"My love life really have a beautiful memories being together with him. Thank you bie for all the memories."

when love and hate collide

i choose to be who i am now. pursuing new JD quite challenging. doing reporting really tough.i really need someone right now who will cheer me up. rahmah still cannot stop thinking of him.

every time i drove back home, i really wanna see him at Shah Alam. but i don't know where he is now. true love hard to forget right.. i know..

i love my workplace. i love my bosses but at the same time i hate them. that is when love and hate collide, i accidentally cried.. why Allah.. why i suffer too much pain now? am i really bad person? why Allah..

my mom sick..
i failed again my last exam..
i lost my true love..
now i phobia driving since accident..

when love and hate i collide.. i feel like wanna run away from anybody.
laugh just to cheer me back and to hide my true feeling..

everyday.. i will say.. "Bie.. please come back to me.." but then i remembered his soft voice said.. "how can bie be with me.." i cried silently. i love my siblings but at the same time i hate them. so when love and hate collide, i am not me at all.. aahhh.. i can't find the right word to express myself.

it is true.. i still cannot live without him.. my bumble bee..

"Andai diriku ini tidak layak bagi mu, ku pasrah. Andai kau ingin ku lagi, ku terima.."

Mother

"Why rahmah..you have a blog but don't wanna share with us?.."
Its because a blog is an alternative way for me to say what i want and what i think.

What i would like to say now is that i've change. Looks happy at the outside but not in the inside. I prefer to stay back late in the office. Go back home at 9.

My mother now always asking me..why siti..why you're not happy like before.
Mother.. don't you remember that you always push me to find someone else.. not najib who from kedah because you too scared i will be like my aunt who lived there before. What i realise now..she will not be like that if there is no third party involved. I somehow figure out who that person and now i never close anymore with that person.

My mother keep asking my sis and my brother whether now i have a boyfriend or not.
No mother.. i don't have. I still cannot move on.. i still crying on missing him.. i keep on looking at his picture all the night.

My mother still not believe it. Just because i always go back home late. During weekend, i'm not stay at home. That's make her think that i have someone else.
No mother.. i don't have. Weekdays sometime after office i dating with fadzeelah. Ate at dave deli or william.. or drank starbucks which i addicted on greentea frab with choc chips.. sometime..i dating with azie and nyssa at mamak glomac. Sometime, i follow them sleep at  their home. I remembered that last time my mother said to me when i said i wanna sleep at nyssa home.. my mother said...how could you do this to me.

Mother... how could you do this to me..
Because of you..i lost my love and my soul..
Because of you..i never trust a guy anymore..
Because of you.. i've change to be a bad person in her eyes..
Because of you.. i've shut my mouth not to talk much at home..
Because of you..my smile have fade away slowly..
But...
Because of you..i have always cry in my doa..
Because of you..i have try to be more matured person..
Because of you..every morning i pray solat sunat dhuha..
Because of you..i learn to be independent person..

I'm not talking bad things about her but anythings happen have its own reason.

I lost my love war..but always pray he will come back to me.. i want my love back..
Hmm..

Love. Life. Live

just now i attend farewell party specially made to Peggy. i'm so depressed okay because suddenly sore throat hit me. so, i ate less.. hmm

i thought my sickness was gone as i'm so stubborn not to see the doctor. 1 week everyday i will vomit after had my meal, 1 week i got fever and 3 days my voice gone. i really need him..almost 10 months.. i still loving him from far...

Now time for food explorer!!

Dave Deli restaurant
what i like about this restaurant.. their own signature is their gravy served. makes me addicted!

i ordered sheppard pie, mushed potato together with garden salad. total cost is RM 19.10. what i love to eat everytime i go there.

this is chicken parmigiana. so full of cheese. love it!

 this is hainanese chicken. just like home cook. worth it!








 yesterday i went to Tappers restaurant at bangsar south. me and my friend ordered hainanese chicken and chicken parmigiana.. just wanna compare thier foods with Dave Deli.

this is hainanese chicken.. the sauce they made not sour at all. the chicken too oily and too much egg.

this is chicken parmigiana. cheese on top was little compare to dave deli. how can pay more than RM10 but this they served to us. not value for money. sorry... i can only give 2 stars.. because not worth it at all.














these restaurants have almost similar price but what can i say that from the pictures itself we could figure out which one have better service in terms of quality of food serving. 

today i ate at Italiannies restaurant. we ordered as per picture. what can i say that their foods were good but expensive. lucky i am that i share with other 7 friends. so..total cost per person is RM34. we ordered carbonara, lasagna and chicken milanese..

with them.. dear Peggy.. we will miss you.. good luck for your future..








"Can't stop loving you.. can't stop missing you.. to the one i love most.. Honey Bee"

the beauty of Nami Island

i'm so excited to visit Nami Island. the creativity of Korean people make it as attraction to tourism and the punctuality of shipping time impress me as i hate waiting.

this is entrance gate of Nami Island.

Korea really welcoming Malaysian tourists. see the board! me took this picture just because of that "Selamat Datang".

they provide us map. for me it just to show the shape of the island. hah! i think differently. what to do. i usually like to use right brain side.

i never thought that thing can be use as deco. Bicycle's rim..

the beauty of autumn. see the trees with 3 colors; red, yellow and green.
in my mind, kuasa Allah tiada tandingannya. SubhanaAllah.

along that bridge, they use bottles as deco. this makes me think the importance of recycling item.

the place that Winter Sonata scene of their first kiss.

now i know its not a snow. just a cement! LOL

i wonder when comes to winter time how this house looks like?

 zomba zombi.. i like that thing because cannot be found in Malaysia. so creative!

this is where many restaurant located. with prayer room provided, so there was no problem to perform the solah!

the tower of books. can imagine how many books they used to build this?

first time i see this.

old tradition.

me selfie. see the leaves. just like my dream comes true.

took this picture just because of the balloons!

cycling around the island. meet korean people that were so friendly and always said that Malaysian people pretty like a doll. *Blushing!

me same colour with the trees make the insects confused. I've been attacked by those! new experience and little bit nightmare.

just for a memory of Nami.

it's time to go back to Seoul. me falling in love with Nami. :)

new hobby

recently i found a new hobby instead of play badminton with my colleagues. i like to explore foods and taking pictures of it.

i love korean foods. in Sindang-dong, this shop served halal food. the one of tradition korean food which is tteokbokki. its a mix of kimchi maggie with rice cake. i like it!

this is honey bread with whipped cream at cafe bene. its look like too sweet but not actually! with a little cinnamon, the taste much better.

this is banana milk which can be found in any supermarket in korea. starting from 1st day in korea until 10th, i cannot stop drink of it.its only 2,600won..

1st time i eat bibimbap. halal restaurant that can be found at myeong-dong.

it taste like a potato.fadzeelah can only eat this as she don't like hot food.

a lunch box at nami island. it mix with kimchi and egg. need to shake first before eat.
love the experience!

i cannot stop drink of this - lemonade!
with a cold weather but i still order it.
Angel in us cafe can be found at every city in seoul and busan.

seafood in busan the most expensive i have spend for food. total cost for lunch only is about RM300 per person but we only take a crab, a squid and fish. i've already be prepared for the cost.

 its a red bean pancake. ate it in a cold weather feels so warmth. i miss the weather.

korean food full of creativity. i don't buy it but took picture of it.

 it's just a pisang goreng at serai restaurant. they serve with vanila ice cream and syrup gula melaka. mahal wo! because i think that it's just a pisang goreng! not worth it but my boss order it. so it's not my money.. :)

the most fav red velvet cake i've ever tasted. it's from Upstairs nearby Sime Darby Medical Centre. dating with fadzeelah! :)

to be my trademark - " more weekends to come more foods to be explored.."