when love and hate collide

i choose to be who i am now. pursuing new JD quite challenging. doing reporting really tough.i really need someone right now who will cheer me up. rahmah still cannot stop thinking of him.

every time i drove back home, i really wanna see him at Shah Alam. but i don't know where he is now. true love hard to forget right.. i know..

i love my workplace. i love my bosses but at the same time i hate them. that is when love and hate collide, i accidentally cried.. why Allah.. why i suffer too much pain now? am i really bad person? why Allah..

my mom sick..
i failed again my last exam..
i lost my true love..
now i phobia driving since accident..

when love and hate i collide.. i feel like wanna run away from anybody.
laugh just to cheer me back and to hide my true feeling..

everyday.. i will say.. "Bie.. please come back to me.." but then i remembered his soft voice said.. "how can bie be with me.." i cried silently. i love my siblings but at the same time i hate them. so when love and hate collide, i am not me at all.. aahhh.. i can't find the right word to express myself.

it is true.. i still cannot live without him.. my bumble bee..

"Andai diriku ini tidak layak bagi mu, ku pasrah. Andai kau ingin ku lagi, ku terima.."