Last trip to over the sea

Mark on calendar.. 20th April 2014 (Sunday), lovely memories created! 5 days 4 nights not enough okay.
me not sleep at all on 19th April because:-
1. late packed my things. "Padan muka.."
2. scared of missing flight due to papa wanted to go to LCCT at 5a.m on the dot! (my fault for not suggesting a better time of departure..)

my uncle.. our pilot that fly us to Lombok. he himself asked AirAsia to allow him to take that job.

 At Senggigi Beach Resort. See the wave..

On the way to Gili Island.

I know it is nice at Gili Island. The sea is so blue. No filter at all.

Mini town at Gili Island.

Traditional transport still being used until now.

Me with my brother waiting for food. A unique restaurant's environment there.

Snorkeling with my brothers. Love it!

Love the sunset. I always dream of honeymoon at beach and see the sunset together while holding hands.So romantic okay.

Nice view. I know. :)

Lombok have 2 waterfalls but we only capable to reach at first stage of waterfall. 20 minutes walk with a little bit hiking make us so exhausted but in the end, we're happy when reach there.

Pit stop at rumah orang asli Lombok while waiting coconut juice to be served by them.

A view from resort.

Another view.. our selfie before go back home.

in this picture, the mountain back there is actually Bali Island. Eventually foreigners will stay 2,3 nights at Lombok then go to Bali by ferry; which only takes one hour to reach there.






It is worth spent my bonus to Lombok Island. This is my last trip to over the sea.
Now it is time for saving for future.
Enough for enjoyment.
Time and memories heals my heart back.
No more love, no more pain. But in the and, I still need a love to follow the sunnah.

Like Azie said to me, "don't ever hope to someone who never remember of you, never need you, never 
serious to you and who never take care of your soft heart.."
she don't want to see me being hurt again.
I love you, sis.. :')

Memory

"My All"

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight

A song that i sang to Najib a long time ago. Just a memory that suddenly go through in my mind.
Qada' and qadar Allah. I have no right to question of it.

Future

Me going on 26 which is still don't own any assets, not yet finish ACCA.. kinda loser! Damn..

So, while waiting my brother to come back home for good another a year (2015 maybe..) and take his car back, I set my own target to fulfill what I want.

• getting a new job with basic RM3k++
• saving start from bring my own home cook for lunch
• puasa sunat every monday and thursday
• no more korean depart
• only once a month - starbucks

To heal my pain, I use my saving for holiday.
Now I already okay -  no more pain no more cry at night, no more hope
I back in track to be what i wanna be
To learn what I wanna learn
Build up my skills and make my bosses regret for not appreciate me
All their words keep on running in my mind and I will never forget it

A year to heal
A year I scared and not to trust any other guy everytime my friends and family try to match me with someone

I really need a sea to treasure back all the memories deep inside it.
That's why I join backpackers to Perhentian.
My friend, Azie understand me what me doing what I wanna do during Perhentian's holiday.
and that's my last cry for love and hope.
At that time I promise myself. never open and accept any other guy until the right time comes.

I only open my heart if someone who never give up on me, shows that he really want me as his life partner and always put Allah and family as his priority. I know it is hard to find that guy. Sooner or later that guy will find me. I just follow the flow.


"Ku berdoa agar cintaku berputik lagi bak bunga ros merah kembang di taman. 
Andai kebahagiaan yang diimpikan tidak dimiliki sekarang, ku redha.
Jika ini hukumanku atas dosa-dosa ku yang lalu, ku redha ya Allah. 
Seperti janjiku pada-Mu dulu, cintaku biarlah pada-Mu dulu. 
Sayangku hanya pada jodohku dan berputik ketika akad.."

Perhentian Island

Next holiday as a backpacker with my colleagues - Perhentian Kecil Island!

I'm happy as a single lady with no commitment at all. I can do what I want.
My family said that I wasted a lot of money going for holiday. but for me, it is time to enjoy a single life before married. Now, I don't care what people say, what people thought of me. They can say whatever they want.

We planned this trip since December 2013. We went by bus and go back home by flight.
Cost for living is RM250 including foods and snorkeling activities. Quite cheap.
Cost for transport is RM100 (bus, van to airport and flight)

Pictures taken for a memory

Me has stop hoping of him to come back. What past is past.

"My love life really have a beautiful memories being together with him. Thank you bie for all the memories."

when love and hate collide

i choose to be who i am now. pursuing new JD quite challenging. doing reporting really tough.i really need someone right now who will cheer me up. rahmah still cannot stop thinking of him.

every time i drove back home, i really wanna see him at Shah Alam. but i don't know where he is now. true love hard to forget right.. i know..

i love my workplace. i love my bosses but at the same time i hate them. that is when love and hate collide, i accidentally cried.. why Allah.. why i suffer too much pain now? am i really bad person? why Allah..

my mom sick..
i failed again my last exam..
i lost my true love..
now i phobia driving since accident..

when love and hate i collide.. i feel like wanna run away from anybody.
laugh just to cheer me back and to hide my true feeling..

everyday.. i will say.. "Bie.. please come back to me.." but then i remembered his soft voice said.. "how can bie be with me.." i cried silently. i love my siblings but at the same time i hate them. so when love and hate collide, i am not me at all.. aahhh.. i can't find the right word to express myself.

it is true.. i still cannot live without him.. my bumble bee..

"Andai diriku ini tidak layak bagi mu, ku pasrah. Andai kau ingin ku lagi, ku terima.."

Mother

"Why rahmah..you have a blog but don't wanna share with us?.."
Its because a blog is an alternative way for me to say what i want and what i think.

What i would like to say now is that i've change. Looks happy at the outside but not in the inside. I prefer to stay back late in the office. Go back home at 9.

My mother now always asking me..why siti..why you're not happy like before.
Mother.. don't you remember that you always push me to find someone else.. not najib who from kedah because you too scared i will be like my aunt who lived there before. What i realise now..she will not be like that if there is no third party involved. I somehow figure out who that person and now i never close anymore with that person.

My mother keep asking my sis and my brother whether now i have a boyfriend or not.
No mother.. i don't have. I still cannot move on.. i still crying on missing him.. i keep on looking at his picture all the night.

My mother still not believe it. Just because i always go back home late. During weekend, i'm not stay at home. That's make her think that i have someone else.
No mother.. i don't have. Weekdays sometime after office i dating with fadzeelah. Ate at dave deli or william.. or drank starbucks which i addicted on greentea frab with choc chips.. sometime..i dating with azie and nyssa at mamak glomac. Sometime, i follow them sleep at  their home. I remembered that last time my mother said to me when i said i wanna sleep at nyssa home.. my mother said...how could you do this to me.

Mother... how could you do this to me..
Because of you..i lost my love and my soul..
Because of you..i never trust a guy anymore..
Because of you.. i've change to be a bad person in her eyes..
Because of you.. i've shut my mouth not to talk much at home..
Because of you..my smile have fade away slowly..
But...
Because of you..i have always cry in my doa..
Because of you..i have try to be more matured person..
Because of you..every morning i pray solat sunat dhuha..
Because of you..i learn to be independent person..

I'm not talking bad things about her but anythings happen have its own reason.

I lost my love war..but always pray he will come back to me.. i want my love back..
Hmm..

Love. Life. Live

just now i attend farewell party specially made to Peggy. i'm so depressed okay because suddenly sore throat hit me. so, i ate less.. hmm

i thought my sickness was gone as i'm so stubborn not to see the doctor. 1 week everyday i will vomit after had my meal, 1 week i got fever and 3 days my voice gone. i really need him..almost 10 months.. i still loving him from far...

Now time for food explorer!!

Dave Deli restaurant
what i like about this restaurant.. their own signature is their gravy served. makes me addicted!

i ordered sheppard pie, mushed potato together with garden salad. total cost is RM 19.10. what i love to eat everytime i go there.

this is chicken parmigiana. so full of cheese. love it!

 this is hainanese chicken. just like home cook. worth it!








 yesterday i went to Tappers restaurant at bangsar south. me and my friend ordered hainanese chicken and chicken parmigiana.. just wanna compare thier foods with Dave Deli.

this is hainanese chicken.. the sauce they made not sour at all. the chicken too oily and too much egg.

this is chicken parmigiana. cheese on top was little compare to dave deli. how can pay more than RM10 but this they served to us. not value for money. sorry... i can only give 2 stars.. because not worth it at all.














these restaurants have almost similar price but what can i say that from the pictures itself we could figure out which one have better service in terms of quality of food serving. 

today i ate at Italiannies restaurant. we ordered as per picture. what can i say that their foods were good but expensive. lucky i am that i share with other 7 friends. so..total cost per person is RM34. we ordered carbonara, lasagna and chicken milanese..

with them.. dear Peggy.. we will miss you.. good luck for your future..








"Can't stop loving you.. can't stop missing you.. to the one i love most.. Honey Bee"